Maybe what he had inside was genius,
little freckled boy face, eyes looking out
at a world that was senseless at times,
the hero father filled with his own demons,
no time to self regulate nor a model
to follow, as all boys need, as we all do,
and anger, fear and disappointment grew
like Father Time's long white beard
and longer, and wider, engulfing him
like the dark waters of his own psyche,
musician's soul drowning from lack
of enough to fill the glass even half full;
Yet he went on and on, woman to woman,
children left in his wake, those left to wonder
how they fit in, if they ever did, and some
flirted with madness of their own, is it inherent
in those who follow, I might attest,
though it seems rather a deep well of sorrow
we fell into, which takes some time and great
effort to climb out, stone by slippery stone,
gritting our crumbling teeth just to hold on,
needing support of others but not knowing
how to ask and we flounder, time and again,
confusion and anger and love and desire,
yet some do survive, even thrive;
The journey begins with a single faltering step,
once we realize the power to change, to look
into the crucible, will it melt our eyes, singe
our faces, how can we be made whole
without jumping in, facing the worst only
to redeem ourselves, is it luck or love or both,
and enough willpower to realize only we,
ourselves can do the work set before us,
and there is great power in this, if we can,
and we must, in this lifetime or beyond.
family archives ~ bj 2023
A path at times may need a bulldozer to alter its direction and there are times when even that is not enough.
Exactly. In his case, I think this was true. One must possess a will to keep living, it doesn’t matter how much others might love that person, nor how much they might want him to live, it must be his (or her) choice to some degree. Even a slice of light in the night would be enough. But for some, the lights have just gone out, and years of radical drug abuse do not and did not help. Thanks for weighing in, Tube. 🌺
Bela, Tubularsock would say that the willingness and “the choice” to live is in the hands of ONLY each of us individually. Attempted outside opinions and caring and love ONLY provides US (those on the outside) comfort.
The inner workings that bring about the choice of no longer living is complex and extremely diverse. But it can only be made by ourselves, period.
And as for reasons why ………. how deep is the sky?
The cause of radical drug abuse had to be brought about for some serious reasons and not having the desire to face those issues head-on is a ticket to the dead zone!
It is always sad and difficult to care and want to help so much and still not be able to change the outcome. However Tubularsock has accepted that each person makes their own decisions in their own way and there is a point that the “self” has a right to the decision even if it is not the way Tubularsock would proceed.
OM Shanti …………..
Agreed absolutely. I could not have stated it better myself. Thank you. 🙏💓
<3 Ah, yes, the passing on through the generations, tough to stop the ripple effect.
Absolutely. For some more than others. Thanks, Eliza.☮️
Life is complicated (as is death). (K)
For sure life is! 🙏🏽