I believe I understand them now,
years into life, no going back
to mumble ‘Aha!’ or alter a quip,
an eye-roll, internal judgments
of the simply humans who brought me
into this life;
A child knows all, we wax wiser
than they, are meant to drive the world
forward, inception spinning threads,
moving eons of evolutionary spiral,
giving and taking our own progressions,
transgressions;
Product of our times as were they,
post-war (and aren’t we all?),
Beginnings of encumbering the collective
with awareness of itself, the most dire
among us, diving headlong
into fantasy strobes, dancing
until they dropped, Big Bands,
juxtaposition of light and a newly-found
affluence, the suburbs where we tottered,
innocent as lambs rambling freely
in our white-washed ‘hoods,
bright sidewalks, manicured shrubs,
nothing savage enough to pull mother noses
out of romance novels,
while fathers roamed freely,
new kings in a jungle of love;
I do not harken back, knew those times
were deadly, atom bombs and fallout shelters,
too much hidden in closets,
shadow boxing enemies just like us, inside
themselves afraid of a world growing larger,
power looming over them like the weight
of white supremists’ war of words
or of worlds;
Present-tense knee-jerk repulsion,
demeaning lyrics swallowed whole
into the beat, the beat driving generations
forward, technology-thumping
into oblivion of its own unmaking, rise
and fall of crises too numerous to court
before the next cycle consumes
momentary interest, all we can hold
in bleeding hearts bursting open
with empathic resonance,
We have been here before ringing,
burning in aging ears;
There was order then, or its illusion,
stuff made sense, it was possible
to contain evil, who were we kidding?
Crying consciousness, children
of the ‘sixties watching all coming
to fruition and wanting regression back
to what was familiar, blanketed blur
of memory, having initiated it all to begin
with and knowing it’s impossible,
get it out, out where it trembles, blinking
like the golem that it is, and it is I,
it is Us, it is Humanity’s Shadow,
and it never was a thing of beauty.
Bela, I wish I couldn’t relate to your work, but you have it absolutely correct. Wonderful work!
Oh, Ronnie – haven’t connected with you in ages! Will have to again. Thank you for your comments, much appreciated.
Hey, I might wish things were different as well, but I’m not one who can shut my eyes to any of it – the splendor, the beauty, the ugliness, the shameful. All part and parcel of the human experience (experiment?). It is my feeling that ‘seeing it all and loving it anyway’ is the way through, the way into the light of understanding. I used to believe, back in my New Age days (brief though they were) that denial of the dark and ‘manifesting’ the light were The Answers. I used to chide myself for not visualizing (hard? good?) enough to make ‘needed’ radical changes. Sigh.
After four years of Jungian studies, my bones knew different. Instead now I find integration, on so many levels, is key.
Blessings, dear one. And peace.
Just gloriously powerful and beautiful words.
Mahalo, Paul. Many thanks <3
The poem is an amalgamation of so many emotions…intertwining thoughtful reflections…a rare combination Bela! You have said SO much! Yes! technology may be ‘thumping,’ may try to consume us yet we thrive on the values of empathy, forgiveness and love…may be dwindling yet little streaks shine through chinks to endow us with new zeal to go on and make this world a peaceful place. Love and peace. Stay blessed.
Ah, yes, Balroop – the human condition in a nutshell! 🙂 Thanks so much for your kind comments.
Your piece reminded me of Donald Fagen’s ironic take on the optimism of the fiftes, Bela. H <3
https://youtu.be/-k1m9TevgJM
Hariod dear, I will have to check this out! Farmers Market day here, so will do later … Many blessings for a peaceful weekend <3
Yes, I can see why you thought of that. Love the lyrics he chose 😉
“There was order then, or its illusion, stuff made sense, it was possible to contain evil, who were we kidding?” – reminded me of the fifties, the incipient Cold War, naïve thoughts of National superiority and bright futures, the kind of stuff Fagen alludes to ironically. H <3
Excellent thoughts Bela.. Yes to me too all made sense then.. Maybe it was always as corrupted world of collusion but maybe we were blissfully unaware back then..
I often wonder what is the best place to be in this world of illusion? Awake or Fast asleep! ..