by Bela Johnson | Aug 21, 2017 | family, Uncategorized
I don’t now know what to do with the grief of parental disappointments, how their lives entangled, ensnared, dreams dashed on the shoals of fragile egos glued together by obsession with ‘fifties fantasies and too many children; My mother once told me in the throes of...
by Bela Johnson | Jul 18, 2017 | family, musings, philosophy, self awareness, spirituality, Uncategorized
I grew up amidst plenty, Depression-era lack transformed into expensive Japanese silk paintings hung above a cut glass table, black lacquer chairs, raw silk seats reserved for holidays unfit for seven children, dreams of people I never really knew, though they...
by Bela Johnson | Apr 18, 2017 | family, forgiveness, Uncategorized
I never told you I loved you enough, the only ones to whom it might have mattered and mattered much, how could I? There are certain things one apprehends only with age, the fact that most parents were mere children themselves when they raised us up; Now when I...
by Bela Johnson | Oct 4, 2016 | family, food, lifestyle, musings, Uncategorized
Bread by hand is baked in oven, tapped out gently, further cooling, placed in storage, bagged and ready, then is toasted days and after, to a crisp and even browning; Edges blackened, flash of silver knife is peeling curls of butter loose from glass jar, lying gently...
by Bela Johnson | Jul 28, 2015 | family, philosophy, self awareness, Uncategorized
I know this nonchalance you speak of, a kind of half-blaming, half-devoted confusion of youth. Must be a mother-daughter thing meant to break hearts open like sorrow or ecstasy; a mixed plate from Pandora’s kitchen, perspective being all as I know now, having had...
by Bela Johnson | May 9, 2015 | family, love
So here’s my Mothers Day suggestion: Try (and this might be really difficult) seeing your mother as a fallible human being, acknowledging her own problems and struggles and faults. It’s hard not to have expectations or fantasies about an archetypal figure...
