How many times have I fallen,
only to rise again -
despite my doubts;

How many times have I heard
whispered: not yet…
do not give up,
do not give in;
there is still more to offer
;

Live long enough
and you begin to recognize
the ebb and flow,
the tidal pull of existence;
ends and beginnings,
the ouroboros of the human journey,
looping through familiar terrain
where each step feels altered,
sometimes tender,
sometimes firm beneath the feet;

And will I forever walk
this inner path alone?
Is there no one
to walk it with me,
no one to explain the purpose
to which I was placed here,
this intricate body
moving through a magical Eden,
witnessing its desecration,
the folly of our species,
the greed and graft
and blindness to nature’s law?

Yet even here,
I am not alone;
there are guides and angels,
devas and otherworldly guardians
standing at my shoulder,
unseen, but present,
nudging me gently
each time I veer off course,
each time my stubborn heart insists
this time
I can do it alone;

And so I fall,
and so I rise -
each time less certain,
each time more willing
to be carried;

Perhaps it was never
about doing it alone,
but about learning
how to rest,
how to lean,
how to be held.

The road out, the road back in ~ bj 2025