We were children of the fifties,
taught to duck and cover—
curl small beneath the desks
as if our little spines and folded hands
behind heads could shield us
from the power of the sun.
I remember the drills, the fear
tucked neatly between math
and spelling, the siren’s shriek,
a teacher’s calm command:
hands behind your neck,
curl into a ball.
Later came the blisters—
angry welts rising big and long
on my skin; wet rags soaked
in Burroughs solution,
Cortisone in the arm.
My mother whispering it will pass.
Years later, I learned the military
was testing nuclear missiles
over the mountain behind our house.
That was the click,
the sound of truth locking in.
All that ducking, all that covering—
none of it could save us
from what we’d already inhaled.
Even now, I can’t stand showers,
the way water beads up on my skin—
it looks too much like fallout,
refusing to soak in.
AI generated image
Horrible!!
And the beat goes on… 😞😘
eSignal.. wish I could say we had learned something…(k)
Hah! Don’t I know it! 🙏♥️
This is so poignantly written. It sounded like a very rough time where you felt trapped, and of the need to keep safe. At the same time it is also a story of strength and how you made it through the dark times. I am sorry to hear that these times left an impact on you in not the best of ways. But you stand tall and channel it into a lovely piece of writing. We live in a time where the environment needs a lot of attention and as a world, we can do so much better to make the world a better place to live in. You’d think it’ll be easy for things like nuclear testing and coal burning to stop. But so many years later, here we are…
Much love to you, Bela ❤️
Yes, here we are, indeed. I appreciate your compassionate response, Mabel, and at this point in life looking back, I can say for sure I don’t think we develop character without adversity. Certainly for me, creativity has bloomed from the soil of struggle. I think in centuries past, there was an emphasis on the struggling artist. Like so many things, I think that particular archetype has moved from the outside to the inside. If we have our basic physical needs met, we still feel the tension of something trying to be birthed on the inside; we can create from there without being homeless and suicidal on the street. That’s my I take on it anyway. It’s kind of like people in my country waiting for a savior, a leader, Jesus to come floating out of the sky to save us. But these are not those times, I think we have evolved to a place in time where we are going to have to save ourselves and that is the only way positive change is going to happen. 😘
‘the soil of struggle’ I love this phrase from you. Agree struggle is what develops character – if we surrender to it and take it upon ourselves to move with and through it. And a good point too on more on the side, that it’s interesting how we struggle with what we’ve got inside these days. Part of which may be have to do with what’s in power out there in the world… With time, may the world heal. Much love to you, Bela 💕
I like your last line, Mabel. ‘ May the world heal in time.’ I do think, however, that in these Aquarian Age times, we are going to have to participate more in healing ourselves, so that the collective hits a critical mass, then positive change has no choice but to happen. We are seeing the baby stages of this in our country, with this insane administration and people taking to the streets in historic numbers two peacefully protest and let their voices be heard. (And actually, protests are taking place globally.)
Considering it, the arc of domesticated humans has gone from working hard in the fields to provide for families, to everything being instant and available at the touch of a finger. That in itself I think has made us lazy. Then we go out and madly try to stay in shape at the gym or bring exercise inside our homes. To me, this is a physical manifestation of struggle, trying to whip ourselves into some kind of version of ourselves that we think is better. Better I think to go out walking in nature and reconnect with the ground and the wonder. Sit with ourselves more, until the struggle there reveals its purpose.
Then growth can happen on a personal level much more profoundly that way.
Sending love your way, Mabel . ♥️
So agree we have to ‘participate more in healing ourselves’. That I feel encompasses both in taking the initiative to recognise our needs and at the same time balancing that with making a positive change among the collective.
You know, I actually share the same view as you there. Not against gyms or modern medicine, but I think a lot of us forget to slow down. For instance, it’s mind boggling to me how someone can walk on a treadmill at home while doing work on their laptop…maximising time, squeezing in as much as possible. Each to their own. That said what we seek tends to be found immersing ourselves in stillness and connecting within. Sending love back your way too, Bela ♥️
And since I learned a great deal about this from TCM, you can thank your Chinese heritage for helping you along the way, I think! Ancient medicine, that. 🙏♥️💕
Always much learning from each other’s cultures, Bela. I am greatful to connect and learn from you and your words, as always ♥️
Same here with your writing! 🙏♥️
Much love to you 💕💕
And to you, Mabel. 💞