We all need at least one good friend—
someone who sees us as we are,
receives us
just as we are.
I don’t need fixing or coddling,
or borrowed stories meant to prop me up—
lines lifted from some forgettable show.
What I need most
is a witness, preferably silent:
someone who knows when not to speak,
who listens without reaching in,
who receives me without judgment
or the weight of their own agenda.
I know I wasn’t always this person
for others—
raised in trauma,
without a stable sense of self.
I tried to help by explaining,
by resolving,
by lighting the room too fast.
But once I understood the power of presence,
I learned.
I stopped trying to resolve
the unresolvable.
Stopped believing I had better answers
than another might discover
on their own,
inside their own weather.
If life has taught me anything,
it is this:
we learn by going through.
Not by stopping short,
not by sidestepping the hard places,
but by staying—
by letting the floor give way
and trusting the body to find
its own footing.
Door through ~ bj 2012
Wow, this was a powerful narrative, Bela. Thank you for sharing. I agree. We learn (and survive) by going through.
Oh gosh, I wish I’d known that better when my kids were young, though I gave them plenty of leeway. Still, if I could make their lives easier, I did so. Or so I thought! 🙄🙃💕
Merry Christmas Bela
And merry Christmas and a happy new year to you, Ivon! 🙏♥️
💜
💗 happy new year, Eliza!
Thanks much, same to you!