We say falling in love
as if love were a ditch,
a stumble,
a loss of footing—
something we trip into
because the lights were off
and the chemicals were loud.
Falling sounds like an accident,
like surrendering consciousness,
like slipping under a spell
or losing the thread
of who we are.
But love—real love—
asks for the opposite.
It asks us to rise.
Rise into awareness,
into presence,
into the sacred labor
of truth-telling
and truth-living.
Love is not a plunge.
It is a heightening.
A widening.
A clearing of the old smoke
we once confused
for destiny.
“Falling in love”
is what we say
when we’re still children
in grown bodies—
chasing the high,
mistaking adrenaline for devotion,
hormones for home.
But rising to love—
that is adult work.
Soul work.
The work of two people
who meet eye to eye
with no need to perform,
no need to seduce,
no need to collapse
into each other
to feel alive.
Falling is losing ourselves.
Rising is finding ourselves
in the presence of another
who does not ask us
to disappear.
And “dating”?
A word that’s become
soft code for
maybe-sex,
probably-sex,
a dance of masks
and strategic charm—
each person auditioning
for the illusion of partnership.
We don’t need
another word for coupling.
We need a word
for choosing—
for the moment two people
look at each other
without pageantry,
without scripts,
without the nervous giggle
of trying to be something
shinier than their truth.
Love—real love—
is not a fall
or a performance
or a chase.
It is a rising
into ourselves
with someone beside us
who recognizes the view.
Everyone says they want love.
But perhaps what they really want
is a story about themselves—
a story they can tell,
a role they can inhabit,
a fantasy they can live inside
so they don’t have to feel the truth
of who they really are
or what they actually need.
But the truth?
The real truth?
Connection isn’t a story.
It’s an encounter.
It doesn’t need language,
labels,
or theatrics.
It asks only for presence,
honesty,
and the willingness to be seen
without a script.
Being Seen ~ bj 2017
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! And happy holidays to you 💝
Aww, thanks, Judy! Happy holidays to you and yours. 🙏♥️
YESSSSSS thank you for putting this into words… and elegantly so. I appreciate you so much!
Thanks again for your support and love ~ Merry Solstice!
Mahalo, little sister! Love you. 😘
Perfect! And let me join the others in wishing you and yours a Very Happy Solstice. Jean and Paul.
Aww! Mahalo, dears! Hope you and Jean have a very blessed solstice as well! 💗
🥰 👍🏼
How beautiful is this Bela… Wonderful Photo too xx <3
Thanks, my friend! 💗
One of the best and most wholesome pieces I have ever read on the contradictory terminology of why love is not a fall…but a partnered rise to so much more! Beautifully stated, Bela.
Thanks, Vidur! The whole idea to shape this piece arose from my distrust and distaste of the word ‘dating.’ I never used it, and to those I knew who did, I just asked them to clarify what they meant by the word. 😂💕